> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.themariejohn.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # there is nothing rewarding about being a people pleaser or oversharer — fuck these people 🦋 - URL: https://www.themariejohn.com/there-is-nothing-rewarding-about/ - Published: 2025-05-21T21:01:35.000Z - Updated: 2026-10-04T20:11:30.000Z - Description: and if they don't like it guess what? not entertaining other people's thoughts anymore costs zero dollars. - Author: Soul x SWMarie ✨ - Tags: Journal, Life, Bloggers, Newsletter, #Migrated-1791144068973, #Import 2026-10-04 20:05 [Subscribe](#/portal/signup) oh yes. there it is. the realization that people pleasing does nothing for the soul. i want to remind you all that my ADHD is working overtime today. usually i get on here and i show off my english degree by making sure that everything looks all nice and tidy but i dont want to do that right now. and im not going to do it. *so anyway… lets get into the nitty gritty of what im trying to say as i sip my second cup of coffee for the day.* if you missed yesterday’s post… i will link it at the end of this one. I wrote about how i decided to leave the social media world behind. when i say the social media world i mean: twitter, tiktok, and instagram. (i told instagram weeks ago that i was about to fall off the face of the earth and i think they thought i was joking… haha. i was not) > yes — i severed my ties with the other apps in which i attempted to make my writing be a hot topic… my book go viral, and make a “living” on the tiktok shop creators program. please understand that doing anything on social media was not apart of my agenda when i decided to take my writing to the next level. but i knew that having these apps would aid in my ability to promote my work to a broader audience. but then i realized… THEN IT HIT ME… that very thing that i was doing was a form of people pleasing. people would tell me “promote more!” “make a tiktok!” “get back on instagram!” so i did. i did all of these things and you know what it left me feeling? nothing. empty. and anxiety ridden. **since the beginning of my life of being able to understand people and the way they work — i have been a people pleaser.** i have wanted to make sure that everyone is happy. avoid the uncomfortable conversations. let things go without expressing how i truly feel. saying yes to things i wanted to say no to. putting myself in uncomfortable positions because someone else suggested it might be a good idea. or it was something they wanted me to do. i have NO fucking idea how or when this type of thought process became embedded in my dna. but i cannot continue being that person. > i turned 29 this past Saturday. i died that day. > > yes you read right… sitting at the dining table drunk as hell after the bar with my mom, cousin, and sister, i realized during a conversation we were having that something needed to die. and what was that something? me. why you ask? because i have been a chronic people pleaser for my entire life and i was over it. my sister said to me: *“you care too much. you have to stop giving a fuck about how other people feel.”* i told her that i cannot do that. i want to so badly but i cant. my mom was behind me and telling her that she understood me. she understands how hard i try not to care and she also understands how hard i wish i could change the fact that i care so deeply about other people. but then i understood — its not that i have to stop caring. i just have to stop *pleasing*. its not that i have to stop caring — *its just that i need to care about me more*. people pleasing is fucking draining man. i dont have to give a fuck about how you feel about something im doing or not doing. ## i dont. i dont have to care that someone hasnt texted me in 4 months because i never crossed their mind to check on me. i dont have to overextend myself to people who would ***never*** do that for me. i can be quiet for 6 months if i want and then pour my heart out into a book and release it without anyone even knowing it got released. i can move back to louisiana in secret and not tell a soul. i can do whatever the fuck i wanna do without having to care about peoples opinions, how they feel, or why they do or dont agree. and the crazier thing you will find out is: people do not give a damn what you do. but when you offer up your life, you invite their opinions. and honestly? i rather be alone than listen to anything anyone else has to say. ![grayscale photogaphy of man sitting on concrete bench](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1472566316349-bce77aa2a778?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=M3wzMDAzMzh8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHw1fHxhbG9uZXxlbnwwfHx8fDE3NDc4MDg1MTd8MA&ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=80&w=1080) Photo by [Matthew Henry](true) now you may wonder why im 29 and just realizing this — or should i say just now accepting it... the short answer is: i started having children before i figured out who i was or what i wanted in this world. i was a kid when i had my first child. i never got to find myself. now i have 3\. im 29 and im finally understanding things about. coming to realizations and revelations that are life altering. *and you know what? that is okay. it’s okay. because im not in a rush. the only people that i need to be competing with are the versions of me that i wish to no longer be. i dont want to be the people pleaser anymore. i dont want to be the over sharer anymore. i dont want to be the person who constantly feels the need to be so exposed and allow people into my life and my space.* **i dont want to be her anymore*. so… i offed her. she no longer exists.* so i what i want to say is this: you can do what you want, reinvent yourself as many times as you need to until you find the version of yourself that feels like home. it took me a while. but i have arrived. *this mindset shift change within me is so goddamn liberating.* so if you dont hear from me because im no longer on your timeline and my profile picture isn’t lighting up with a story waiting to be watched — you will still hear from me through my blogs and my actual stories that came from my creative mind. signed, retired people pleaser ✨ [i gave up. i dont even care to edit this essay or make it look fancy like i normally do. I’m just typing on my computer and whatever comes out comes out.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/69/a5/69a50cf8-a236-4da4-b798-8dad6075188d/content/images/2026/10/b562d600-c773-4546-b26d-9c7d53c55b62_313x313-3.png)Letters in the Liminal MarginsMarie In Reverie ☁️![](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1692731190478-adfbda08d305?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=M3wzMDAzMzh8MHwxfHNlYXJjaHwxMDl8fGxpbWluYWx8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzQ3Nzg5OTU1fDA&ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=80&w=1080)](https://www.themariejohn.com/i-gave-up/)