don't chase an aesthetic — just live your life

Okay so here’s the thing — I love Substack, I really do. But I wont pretend like I don’t get warped up in the pretty sunflower field of ‘notes’ where everything is aesthetic and written a certain way specifically to tug at those pieces of you that wishes to be a small time book store owner living by the coastline drinking coffee on her porch every morning that faces the beach. HEY! & you KNOW I ain’t lying.

As beautiful as it is, it’s almost as toxic as any other app that has a feed. NOW! Wait a second, before you call bullshit, hear me out. I am not down talking notes. I actually do think that it’s a beautiful place to scroll. Much more beautiful than the feed I used to look at on Twitter and IG. YUCK.

What I’m saying is… there is a feeling of damn I don’t have enough or I’m not living the life I want to live because everyone else is telling me this is the life that I SHOULD want to live as a writer. Somewhere aesthetic, beautiful and full of Autumn trees. Or maybe you might be feeling like your life in general isn’t as aesthetic as someone else’s life. You know how that goes.

Everyone likes to pretend that they NEVER have taken a look at someone’s life and been like damn that would be nice to have or damn she’s super aesthetic I love the way she has her writing station set up. Everything is so matches and looks good. yada yada. But lets be REAL — something that most people have stopped doing on the internet for the sake of being liked by everyone. WE ALL HAVE DONE IT. We all have been like damn I wish I had that.

I dont do it as often as I used to honestly, that’s why I feel good enough to write a post like this because I am talking from experience. And it took a lot of time convincing myself daily that I don’t need to be an aesthetic and that I don’t need to live in a small town by the sea with my laptop outside watching the ducks frolic in the pond as I write my novel. It’s OKAY to not have the things that look so beautiful online.

We should all be thankful for the lives that we have regardless if its aesthetic or not. Post that picture of the spaghetti you cooked last night even if there’s sauce covering the sides of the plate. post the picture of the moon you took last week even if it wasn’t in focus. post the picture of your writing station even if it isn’t as aesthetic as what you see online.

You are just as productive and worthy as the girl with her matcha latte sitting down at the coffee shop by the hills working on her manuscript.

And another thing I want to say is that — there is nothing wrong with those aesthetic pictures and lifestyles. they’re beautiful. and if that’s the life you live, true kudos to you, man. seriously.

But we have to be real — that’s not a lot of peoples realities and that is okay. Don’t chase an aesthetic just be you. And if your “you” is an aesthetic that the internet is raving about — great! but when that aesthetic goes out of style — stay true to yourself and who you truly are. The things you truly love. Own it!

And if you think your space isn’t ‘aesthetic’ or your life isn’t ‘aesthetic’ — I have a project for you today. I want you to write down 3 things that you appreciate about the space/life you’re in. I’ll go first:

• I appreciate the fact that I have a computer to write & do my homework on even though I don’t have a designated workstation as of right now.
• I appreciate that I have many books — even though they’re stuffed in a big blue tub and aren’t sitting pretty on a book shelf.
• I appreciate that I have the energy to get up every morning — even though my routine isn’t flawless or “internet beautiful”. I’m thankful to have a roof over my head.

We just have to start being more appreciative man. Honestly. We just need to appreciate our little spaces that we live in and create pockets of beauty where we can. Because in reality… life is beautiful. PERIOD. Life itself even though it can be a bitch, it’s still beautiful. We just have to find the beauty in it.