Newsletter

I'm Off Balance At The Moment...

Burned Out is an Understatement, But We Will Make It Through + New Community Spotlight

I’m not even going to add fluff to this post. I’m just going to lay it all out on the table — MARIE IS TIRED.

Whew, Chile. Marie is tired. I think I’ve reached a stage of burnout that scares me. It’s not even like I’ve given up, because I haven’t. But I mentally and physically cannot keep up with everything that I need to do/want to do on a daily and I am completely drained.

I am drained. I talk all the time about everything I do…and you might be tired of hearing about it. But, talking about it helps me realize just how much is on my plate and how I have to give myself grace.

My therapist and I have been really working on my issues with being so hard on myself and not giving myself grace. Because there is a fine between giving yourself grace and making excuses. I don’t remember the last time I made an excuse about why I couldn’t do something. I just do it.

However, “just doing it” for as long as I have has created a tiredness in me that even I don’t recognize. I’m tired of being needed by everyone. I’m tired of never having enough time to write anymore, I’m tired of juggling life.

Being a mom and partner is a full time job. Having an actual 9-5 is a full time job (obviously). Being a writer is a full time job. Trying to take care of my mental, physical and spiritual health is a full time job. Trying to run a household is a full time job. Being a sports parent is also now on my plate. Being full time in college? FULL TIME JOB. Baby, I am a full time machine! But sometimes, machines eventually overheat. My engine is not running at full capacity and I don’t know how to balance it all. So currently? I’m off balance.

There’s enough time in a day, but not everyday. And I think that’s where me and grace don’t mesh too well. Because if I can’t do everything I need/want to do everyday, I feel like I've failed myself. And I know that’s not true, but that’s what I tell myself when I fall off… or come up short.

Something HAS to give, but I don’t know what that something is at the moment. When I figure it out, I’ll get back to y’all.

But! As stated in my last newsletter, I am no longer apologizing for what I cannot do. It just won’t get done that day and that’s that. There’s no excuse, there’s no apology… nothing. In those moments, I’m choosing my sanity over content. I’m choosing my sanity over folding another load of laundry. I’m choosing my sanity over finishing an assignment. All the things will get done at some point… but if I continue treating my mind and body like it’s a machine, I’m going to croak. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with my responsibilities that my chest starts to hurt. My head feels like an elephant is sitting on it. Saturday my babygirl was sick so I took care of her… and I pretty much slept the entire day. Me sleeping on a weekend? When I want to be up hanging out or being productive? Not like me. My body is basically giving me warning signs for a while now, but I’ve just been too busy to listen. If I don’t start taking it seriously I’m going to shut down completely. Stress kills as we know… And we can’t have that because what exactly would ya’ll do without me? I’ll wait.

Anyway! All that to say, please…. please! Take care of yourselves. Don’t be like me and run yourself into the ground. Let’s do better than that. Thank you!

Community Spotlight 💜

My sister Jade (we haven’t found out how we are related, just know we are) has a juice business! I am so so so proud of her. I look up to this beautiful human and honestly her ambition keeps me going. She’s also a mom and full time college student! We gotta support my girl. If you’re in the Houston area and are interested in fresh-pressed juices, please hit my girl up! She is the best to do it!!! My favorite flavor is the watermelon-mint. So incredibly mouthwatering and delicious. And if you’re in the south, you know it’s going to be hot for the foreseeable future. Check her out immediately!